… But this Yes/No/Maybe List is a little different. When your partner gives you oral sex, you think: 'This isnt turning me on - he/she isnt very good at this' / They dont do it at all. Im attracted to his/her mind, but not their body. Very - he/she is physically pleasing to me.
Brainstorm together and see what you can come up with that I didn’t, and then add it to the list. How attracted are you to your partner Somewhat - looks arent everything. If you’re interested in cock and ball torture and your partner is into cognitive behavioral therapy you’re having two very different conversations.Īrguably some of the most useful pieces of Yes/No/Maybe Lists are their lists of activities and terms, and although mine is extensive, it is by no means exhaustive, so I encourage you to write in your own. Don’t only discuss what you want to do, also discuss what the words you’re using mean. It is often expressed in fetish, kink and D/s-BDSM oriented sex. Instead I usually prefer to have negotiation conversations like these in coffee shops or during long car rides. A Personal Erotic Myth (PEM) contains the fantasy imagery, story-lines, dialogue, props, settings attire, personas and actions, that drive a person that has a PEM to orgasm, or other deep erotic states. I also recognize that I am in the minority of folks who find spreadsheets sexy and I don’t expect you to fill out you Yes/No/Maybe Lists in your finest lingerie. It can be revisited often, as people’s preferences can fluctuate, and it’s a fun way to get new ideas and reflect on your own desires. Your Yes/No/Maybe List is a tool to use in an ongoing conversation about all the sexy things you want to do together. A BDSM kink checklist is a list of desires, activities or behaviors that are associated with BDSM. Your Yes/No/Maybe List is not a contract, it’s not consent, and it’s not set in stone. The goal here is to focus on the things you can do together and not dwell on the nos, You should NEVER try to talk someone out of their no or expect them to explain it to you, though they may choose to.
Directions: Print out two copies of each list. Then the partners reconvene and discuss where their yesses overlap. Find out how kinky your are in this test. Purpose: This activity is designed to help assess which sexual activities you and your partner would be willing to do in order to improve communication and relationship fulfillment.
and sorts each one into one of three columns: Yes, No, or Maybe. It’s simple, each person involved in the negotiation takes a list of activities/terms/food items etc. A Yes/No/Maybe list is a common tool in kink circles for negotiating scenes, but really, you could use it to negotiate… pretty much anything.